Reminder of the rules. They had to have debuted on the year end list of 2016 or made the top 20 on the hot 100 at some point in the billboard year (December 2015-November 2016).
Let me just say, it's only my opinion. If you like them, good for you. This is just me talking about songs I did not like at all.
But first, Some Honorable Mentions
"Sit Still, Look Pretty" by: Daya
People like to say that "Hideaway" was the worst of the hits Daya had. While it wasn't good, at least to production was decent enough. "Sit Still, Look Pretty" didn't even have that. The beat was a bit of a mess, and the lyrics sure didn't help. It's condescending, it obnoxious, and just...bad.
"Back to Sleep" by: Chris Brown
His one hit this year, maybe people are getting sick of him now. Who knows? But after hearing this where he is gonna bang her so hard that she will be unconscious while making It sound like a possible murder, maybe people should be sick of him.
"Lost Boy" by: Ruth B
Major snore. Honestly, there isn't much to say about this one, just listen to Kelsey Ballerini's "Peter Pan". It's a better version.
"Cut It" by: OT Genasis ft. Young Dolph
The guy that made the vine hit "Coco" got a 2nd hit. HOW?
"Love Yourself" by: Justin Bieber
So this is the top song of 2016. At this point, I'm not surprised by the lameness of music making top spot with the year being lame itself.
Now, to the true winners of this list.
Number 10:
"Just Like Fire" by: Pink
To be quite honest, I'm not that much of a pink fan. I don't hate her but she never got my attention. There was some songs I do like from her but then we get songs like this. I have no problem with her selling out. Sometimes, artist get better after selling out (Nelly Furtado and Taylor Swift are examples) but this comeback Pink song is just pathetic. It is really a song you could give to any other artist and nothing would change. This is another stereotypical power anthem with none of the massive energy. And the rap breakdown in the end is just sad to watch. If I wanted to hear a power anthem, I would listen to Beyoncé, Adele, Kelly Clarkson, and even Demi Lovato first. Even Pink has done it better then this. That's the real disappointment.
Number 9:
"Don't Wanna Know" by: Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar.
This was my first solo song review. I wasn't a fan of it then, and it only got worse since then. The perfect word to describe this song is Lazy. The producers, the writers, and the acts did not care about what they were doing in this song. What's worse is that Kendrick Lamar is on this with his worst performance to date. He is one the best rappers working right now, and he is here with little presence and terrible writing. I don't know what else to say here, it's just s**t. NEXT
Number 8:
"We Don't Talk Anymore" by: Charlie Puth ft. Selena Gomez.
I don't hate "One Call Away". It's stupid but harmless despite the Superman line. This song I always considered worse from the start. We have Puth and Gomez talking about they broke up and they complain that they don't talk like they use to. You know, what usually happens when couples break up? They complain even though they say they moved on and started dating others, and yet we have Charlie Puth's whiny attitude. We didn't get rid of Sam Smith so that you can act like him dude. I think back of the time when Charlie had potential after "See you Again", now it's sad to see it get destroyed like this.
Number 7:
"Wicked" by: Future
Or is it wiggle? Wheeho? Wayho? Who knows with the way future is saying it. Remember DJ Mustard, and Mike-Will-Made-It? Now we have Metro Boom as a recurring popular Producer. and he is more boring then the other two I mentioned. All this song feels is nothing. I don't think anyone put any effort into this at all. And on top of it, we have Future drowning in auto-tune. Which doesn't help him, at all. Give Desiigner some credit, at least there is some kind of passion in his music.
Number 6:
"Pop Style" by: Drake ft. Kanye West and 2 lines from Jay-Z
Speaking of people that gives up trying, we have Drake. Who sounds like a complete robot on this. More so than usual. It's not "Fake Love" bad, but it's still frustrating. The production is meh, Kanye's verse is forgettable, and they completly wasted Jay-Z. You get the best rapper of the three, and you only give him two lines. Seriously Drake? Are you that afraid that he is gonna overthrow you here, *which is might have* that you get to barely contribute here? F**k off dude.
Number 5:
"No" by: Meghan Trainor.
................................................What am I supposed to say about this song? Seriously, what is there to say that other people hasn't to say why this song is s**t?
- It's a bad throwback to the late 90's and early 2000's
- Meghan Trainor
- She says no to a guy based on assumptions and not even giving him a chance.
- Meghan Trainor
- This is the stupidest chorus Meghan has done. And that is saying a lot.
- The beat is a rip-off of Justin Timberlake's "Summer Love"
- Meghan F**king Trainor
What is it about her that makes me want to root for her? In this song, she comes off like a spoiled brat who shoots down people for no reason, and spends the breakdown calling herself untouchable. Another example of a good message getting a terrible execution. A "Stand up for yourself" song is fine, but the this whole thing was a complete fail.
Number 4:
"Rise" by: Katy Perry
So, this is the big return of Katy Perry. With this and the whole "Prism" album, maybe she should not be doing inspirational or personal music. It doesn't seem to work for her. It's too bland, too forgettable, the lyrics are nothing special and once again, nothing screams powerful here. It's this high on the list because it is done by Katy Perry of all people. She is someone with big success with massive hit after hit. And the majority of them were really good. To see her washed down to this generic, boring track that anyone could perform is just depressing to me.
Number 3:
"Work from Home" from: Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dollar Sign
Yeah Fifth Harmony is making both of my hit lists. While "All in my Head" is a strong example of them being good, "Work from Home" is them at their worst. The raindrop production is terrible, the guest verse from Ty Dollar Sign is not that strong, the lyrics truly suck. Seriously, why would you want to get your man fired so that you can have sex? Do you like being homeless? Camilla is tough to listen too. And she is all over the song with her screaming in the end. But the worst thing is the hook. Forget that it's a rip-off of "Work" by Rihanna, though that is bad as well. But we have Lauren on it. She is my favourite from Fifth Harmony, she has this amazing voice and she sounds like she didn't gave a s**t on this. Her talent was completely wasted on this and it really hurt this song. and it's only number three.
Number Two:
"Treat you Better" by: Shawn Mendes.
If you saw my first episode of this series, then you would know this would be on this list. I hated this from the first time I heard it. Two things really stands out about this song.
One is the lyrics. Where Shawn trys to convince this girl to leave her boyfriend for him. One major problem is the framing where he trys to steal someone's girlfriend and claims to be the better gentleman. Forget the video where it shows the girl being abused, but in the song, Shawn gives out zero reasons on why she should leave her boyfriend which makes him look like a complete a**hole. And he does this while she claims that wants to stay with her boyfriend.
Problem #2 is Shawn Mendes himself. While his singing wasn't the best, it was better than this. he sounds complete off on this. He makes the word "Crying" sound like "Crime", and then theres the imfamous "Better than he can" line. What the hell was that anyway. It was out of place and without the subtitles, it sounds like something completely else.
Even with all of that, this is only number two. What can be worse?
Number One
Me Too by: Meghan Trainor.
...................................................................................................................Well, there are no words to describe this song. Other than it's the ultimate "F**k You" song of pop music. Because it is basically what it is. A straight up middle finger to the audience. Everything about this song sucks HARD. The production is something even Will-I-Am would laugh at. The vocals are all over the place and doesn't mash up well. And that's the little problems.
Let's talk about the lyrics. Here's something to know about me. I have a tough time dealing with people bragging about how awesome they are. After Drake's 50th version of that song, I got sick of it. There are ways of making it work. The Weeknd found a way with "Starboy". To make it work, you need self-awareness, a smooth swag, a way to convince us to believe what you are saying. Meghan Trainor does none of them. This is a artist who claims to keep waking up feeling like a rockstar, shows vanity calling herself sexy in the mirror, and is demanding respect just for wearing gold and none of it is convincing. Nor do I care. And She gives us no reason to care. Add a random masturbating line and we get a massive ego trip that even Fall Out Boy think it's too much.
But the worst part of this song is Meghan Trainor and her attitude on this song. She is basically rubbing it in our faces that she is this famous and we aren't. The worst thing you can do to the audience who makes you famous to begin with, is to straight insult them. She is saying that if she was us we would rather by her as well. She is even laughing at us as you can hear in the "Breakdown". It is just insufferable.
There has been many Meghan Trainor songs I hated, but this one I hate the most. It is mean, obnoxious, poorly written, poorly performed, and it is completely worthless. Why do we need this song? I don't know why. All I know is that I do not need to hear it again.
So that was the worst list. I would apologize for all this anger but that would mean me taking back what I said and I won't do that.
Time to move on and officially start 2017. I'll see you in the next episode.
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